Yeah, well my dad's THIS big

Emperor penguins lay the smallest eggs of any bird relative to their body size, just 1.5% of the adult mass, so this means that when first hatched, the chicks are the smallest by relative size of any birds too.

This picture by Jérôme Maison. © 2005 Bonne Pioche Productions / Alliance De Production Cinématographique.
From the Warner Brothers film The March of the Penguins used here by permission of Warner Brothers.