New Study: Global Warming Caused by Sun

[Daniel Santos]

September 5th, 2006 4:26 PM, College Station, TX -- Texas A&M University's Department of Agricultural Sciences made a break through discovery about the phenomenon known as global warming. "I was out checkin' all my cows in this scorchin' heat when I got to thinkin' about global warming" says Michael Beltrue, a sophomore agg. student at Texas A&M. "I started putting one and one together and I kept getting three. I told my professor about this and before I knew it, we had us a new project!"

Laboratory studies found that on days when the Sun rose in the morning, thermometer readings skyrocketed. Peer review with other scholastic institutions verified these findings. "We had our class replicate the experiments done at A&M and had remarkably similar results!" said Susan Pelenski, 3rd grade teacher at Oakdale Elementary School. "The kids really enjoyed this. It's way better than that whole vinegar and baking soda volcano experiment we did last semester."

Professor Noe Inkling, head of Agricultural Studies couldn't be located for an interview, but his associate, Professor Fulkin Klewlis helped us to understand the research better. "It seems that the Sun gives off rays that caused all of this heat. That's what we're really talkin' about here."

Copyright 2006, Dissociated Press
Daniel Santos

Disclaimer: This posting is humor (please don't flame me for debunking global warming! For those not familiar with Texas A&M, this posting is also somewhat of an "Aggie joke", a fairly popular sport here.