You're ready for a job in Antarctica if:

[Paul]

Your mum keeps nagging you to put your vest on in the winter, but you don't coz you're well hard.

You regard force 7 on the Beaufort scale as a bracing breeze.

You've never seen anything green that's over 10cm tall.

You treat the ocean as if it's dangerous molten lava - you'd survive just as long.

You get uneasy if the wind stops completely.

You regard any number of animals less than 1000 as "a few".

You're not that bothered about what you eat as long as it's nutritious and there's plenty of it.

You get excited when you come across a new kind of snow or ice you've not seen before.

You can see in the dark.

You have the memory of a goldfish for other people's jokes and always find them hilarious.

Your idea of a gourmet treat is a real, fresh, boiled potato.

You are able to entertain yourself and others royally for hours with a silly wig, a plank of wood and a kazoo.

You can tell the temperature by things such as: the hairs up your nose stiffening, how much it hurts not to have your whole face covered up, which boots you can wear and which you can't, how quick you need to be when taking a pee.


...any other suggestions?